I Wear a Pink Triangle

Last night’s election had an impact that ripples far beyond the ballot count. It stirred memories of resilience and resistance and raises concerns about what lies ahead. As I sat reflecting this morning my phone rang. It was my brother—a call from a world and a lifetime away, in Ecuador, where he pursues his love of farming, which I surmise was nurtured in Brazil when he served in the Peace Corps in the 1960s. He’s always been fourteen years my senior, so you can imagine, we didn’t spend a lot of time growing up together. By the time our relationship was established, we were both adults. Needless to say, I was blown away by his call and his message: “I wanted to let you know that I was concerned about you.  I love you and if you and Gary need a refuge and safe place, you are welcome here anytime.” This sentiment, coming from my brother with his own unique understanding of life, moved me deeply. 

In times like these, having someone to lean on, someone who “gets it,” is a comfort and a gift. But it also brings up the question: What steps can we take now to ensure security and protection not just for ourselves but for those we hold dear? Today, we find ourselves navigating uncharted territory, just as our community has done before. Estate planning is a powerful way to protect ourselves and honor our legacy.

Perspective:
During Ronald Reagan’s presidency, the AIDS crisis swept through the United States, devastating the LGBTQ+ community. Despite mounting cases and rising public concern, Reagan remained silent about the epidemic for years, delaying federal response and funding. It wasn’t until 1987, seven years into the crisis, that he publicly mentioned AIDS, even though thousands of lives had already been lost. This inaction and silence from the highest level of government meant that public health interventions, awareness campaigns, and crucial research were stifled or delayed, contributing to the deaths of thousands who might have been saved with timely support and resources. Reagan’s silence on AIDS became a tragic emblem of neglect that many in the LGBTQ+ community felt, and its consequences are still felt today. In the 80s, when Reagan came into office, people were dying right and left from AIDS, and he wouldn’t even utter the words.

There’s a lesson in our history that carries particular relevance. In Nazi Germany, LGBTQ+ individuals were marked with the pink triangle, meant as a badge of shame. But during the AIDS crisis, our community reclaimed it, transforming that symbol into a mark of defiance and strength. It became a reminder that even in darkness, we can hold onto who we are and take action to protect our lives and loved ones.

Today, we face the impending landscape of Project 2025 with deafening echoes of a tyrannical past. So, although the world changes around us, by taking practical steps to secure our lives and assets, we ensure that our resilience is woven into the very fabric of our legacy. Here are five critical steps to help protect your estate as an LGBTQ+ individual:

1. Create a Comprehensive Estate Plan

Estate planning is about more than just finances; it’s about safeguarding your story and your intentions. For those of us in committed relationships but without formal marriage, this step is essential. Through a well-designed estate plan—covering wills, trusts, and health directives—you ensure that your loved ones have the legal right to make decisions on your behalf. This plan is your way of asserting your intentions, regardless of shifting laws or policies.

2. Appoint a Durable Power of Attorney

The person you trust to act on your behalf is your greatest advocate. A durable power of attorney assigns this authority, allowing your representative to manage your affairs if you’re unable to. In a community where legal protections haven’t always been secure, this step is a safeguard that prevents misunderstandings and interference from those who might not respect or understand your wishes.

3. Establish an Advance Healthcare Directive

During critical moments, having someone who knows your healthcare wishes is invaluable. An advance healthcare directive grants that power, allowing you to appoint a partner, friend, or family member who respects your choices. This step ensures that your healthcare decisions remain personal, regardless of external influences or potential conflicts with estranged family members.

4. Consider Joint Tenancy for Major Assets

For significant assets like property, joint tenancy allows both partners to share ownership and avoid probate. This means that, should one partner pass, the other can retain full ownership without a lengthy legal process. Securing a home or other assets is about more than ownership; it’s about knowing that your sanctuary remains intact, no matter the circumstances.

5. Document and Safeguard Digital Assets

Digital assets are a new frontier in estate planning. From social media to online investments, these assets hold personal, emotional, and financial significance. By documenting and securing access, you ensure that your online presence, achievements, and memories are managed by those you trust, preserving your legacy in a way that truly reflects your life.

Advantage:
Each of these steps is an act of control and empowerment. In a world where policies can change, your estate plan becomes a shield, ensuring that your wishes and legacy remain intact. These are not mere documents; they’re statements of love and strength. Estate planning is our version of a modern “living” Underground Railroad—a system of protection and support for our loved ones and ourselves.

Impact of actions:
Imagine taking these steps as a way of building a fortress for those who walk beside you. With each choice, each document, you’re reinforcing bonds, creating a resilient tapestry that speaks to your love, your identity, and your place in history.

Closing Thoughts:
As I reflect on the Underground Railroad, a part of me thinks about the museum I chair in Vermont, dedicated to that legacy of courage and refuge. My dream is to bring that concept alive again in today’s world, not just for the LGBTQ+ community, but for women, people of color, and anyone who may face marginalization in the coming years. We all need spaces of safety, connection, and empowerment.

My brother’s words and sentiment reminded me of the beauty and importance of resilience, of transforming worry into action and solidarity and caring for others. As Richard Bach wrote in Illusions:

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly."

In that spirit, let us remember the pink triangle, once a mark of shame, is now a symbol of solidarity and defiance. We have made lemonade from lemons before. This is our chance to do it again, to hold fast, and to protect what we have built. Let us gather, create community and look after each other in ways that no law can strip away.

May your estate planning be a testament to that resilience, and may it serve as your own enduring legacy—a legacy of love, courage, and unbreakable community.